As salam alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh, brother. Ramadan Mubarak! I just wanted to tell you that I greatly admire your strength for going against your desires to please Allah. May Allah facilitate things for you. I imagine it must not be easy, especially today when homosexuality is increasingly accepted, and people who speak against it are viewed with displeasure. May Allah make you succesfull in this life and in the akhira. Allahumma ameen.
User portrait preparingforthehour

Wa Alaykum Asalam wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh,

Thank you for your kind words.

"Indeed after every difficulty, there is ease" 94:5

Praise be to Allah for everything



Wonderful woman. A good encouragement for those struggling with SSA and wisdom for those reaching out to people with SSA.

When a man approaches his wife, he is guarded by two angels and [at that moment in Allah’s views] he is like a warrior fighting for the cause of Allah. When he has intercourse with her, his sins fall like the leaves of the tree [in fall season]. When he performs the major ablution, he is cleansed from sins

Prophet Muhammad (pbuhahf)

Wasaelush Shia, Vol. 14, p. 74

Even from an immunological point of view, the body itself considers homosexual acts to be disordered. For instance, there are substances in seminal fluid called “immuno-regulatory macromolecules” that send out “signals” that are only understood by the female body, which will then permit the “two in one flesh” intimacy required for human reproduction. When deposited elsewhere, these signals are not only misunderstood, but cause sperm to fuse with whatever somatic body cell they encounter. This fusing is what often results in the development of cancerous malignancies.
— "Sexual Behavior and Increased Anal Cancer", Immunology and Cell Biology 75 (1977); 181-183

Truths you won’t hear from the media

I am going to list truths which I encourage the reader to research on their own.

People who pursue an active gay lifestyle have:

-a higher risk of psychological problems

-a history of emotional or sexual abuse

-an alarmingly higher rather of suicide attempts or suicidal thoughts

-yet to find a gay gene out of years and years of research to scapegoat the issue

-weak masculine/feminine identity

-sports wounds or weak eye-hand coordination or other issues when dealing with physical activity

-distrust of same sex and same sex parent

-sometimes distrust of opposite sex and opposite sex parent

-a fear of the opposite sex as draining or unapproachable, taking away personal power

-a deep seated feeling of loneliness-a strong persistent cross-gender identification, a discomfort with one’s own sex, and a preference for cross-sex roles in play or in fantasies

-preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty or ideal love. need for unlimited promiscuity

-family issues, confused roles of mother and father, abuse or neglect

-increased risk of disease: HIV, anal cancer, drug or alcohol related issues

-physical abuse within their own relationships

Any of these seem shocking? Google/Research and see for yourself!


Gratitude for same sex attraction

Yet it may be that you dislike something while it is good for you, and it may be that you love something while it is bad for you, and Allah knows and you do not know. 2:216

Alot of the times we may say “Why me?”, out of all trials that Allah (swt) could have given, “Why did He give me SSA?”

So lets flip the coin today and look at the benefits of same sex attraction. Note these may not all apply to you as an individual, but are observations.

People with SSA generally tend to have:

-Artistic talent

-Emotional sensitivity, sympathy, empathy etc.

-Greater feeling of self-focus

-Attention to detail, precision

-Better at self reflection

-A better understanding of the opposite sex, and once healed from SSA a better understanding of both sexes

-A realization that attractions and emotional states don’t define us completely.

All of these are gifts from Allah (swt)

And finally, He has considered you worth the test! Allah says:

Allah does not task any soul beyond its capacity.2:286


Dealing with SSA - Applies to all desires

1. Have a strong belief or reason to change

2. Learn how to cope with the desire

3. Stay away from things that increase the desire

4. Let go, know it is possible to move on and change is possible

It is forbidden for your hearts that they should taste the sweetness of faith until and unless they abstain from the pleasures of this world

Imam Sadiq (as)

Ghurar Al Hikam #1316

do u have any help for bisexual folks? i'm married and i love my wife dont get me wrong. but it feels like lying to not tell her the truth.
User portrait Anonymous

Your conscience gives you the best advice.

If we could only learn honesty before speech. Tell your wife in a way that she can understand you, but consider on how to deal with this situation yourself.

[23:1] Certainly will the believers have succeeded:

[23:2] They who are during their prayer humbly submissive

[23:3] And they who turn away from ill speech

[23:4] And they who are observant of zakah

[23:5] And they who guard their private parts

[23:6] Except from their wives or those their right hands possess, for indeed, they will not be blamed -

[23:7] But whoever seeks beyond that, then those are the transgressors

(2/2) I don't have any SSA anymore. I keep thinking I'm going to have feelings for female friends and I prepare myself for the possibility (The best thing to do in that situation is to distance yourself from the object of your affections, BTW)...but I just feel nothing. Just when I stopped struggling, the problem disappeared. Your tactic for dealing with SSA seems pretty legit, but sometimes indifference works too! Isnt it amazing how Allah SWT chooses different paths for different people?
User portrait Anonymous

Alhamdulillah. Sometimes SSA can overshadow us such that we see nothing but it in our lives. I agree with you, all things within balance. Once you understand the reasons behind SSA, the struggle falls drastically, yes, and I believe many people hold that true.

blog comments powered by Disqus